Dear HSBC,

HSBC signs at the Angel always confuse me

I have just visited your Islington branch and have a few questions.

  1. Why are you playing music in this branch? Are you under the impression this bank is an optional shopping experience, which you seek to enhance, or somewhere that people might visit for leisure? Do you believe that all your customers are under 25, with the attention spans of hamsters and need constant entertainment while they carry out their banking? In my experience, the music and advertising is distracting and annoying and makes it hard to concentrate on the multitude of options that your machines present me with. Speaking of which…
  2. Why are you signs so confusing? (see above)
  3. Why do you have one tiny table for writing at? Would it not be reasonable to assume that by forcing your customers to fill in forms to do anything, they need the space to fill in the forms?
  4. Why does your cheque paying in machine not work properly and, on failure, not give any useful feedback about why it’s rejected my 6 cheques?
  5. Why do you have only two staff at the tills at lunchtime? When do you expect your customers are most likely to want to use the bank?
  6. Why are your staff wearing casual t-shirts? This is my bank. This is where all my money is. Why do you think I should entrust it to someone who looks like he is on work experience?

I’ve banked with HSBC since I was a kid, and regret it every time I do anything other than internet banking or taking out cash.

Regards, etc.