Things I do when I’m unemployed:
1. Spend ages checking my email and extensively trawling through any online messageboard I might be remotely connected with.
2. Stare at my phone, hoping it’ll ring. For hours on end. Carry it round the house with me all day in case it rings and I don’t hear it.
3. Write lists of things to keep me occupied.
4. Put stupid things on the list, just so I can cross them off and feel I’ve achieved something.
5. Currently on concerted plan to do everything but my tax return, on the logic that once I’ve done everything else there will be no more distractions and I’ll have to do my tax return. Not the cleverest plan I’ve ever had.
6. Try not to eat sweets. And crisps.
7. Do exercises for surfing. Twice a day.
8. The radio is on, so I know all the news stories in depth because I’ve heard them on the 10am, 11am, 12pm, World at One, 2pm, 3pm, 4pm, PM and evening news. Can practically quote ministers now.
9. Somehow I still manage to miss the Archers though.
10. Write this Bojates entry.
11. Good grief.