There was a man on the tube today who was wearing a skirt. So, here’s what went through my mind:
- It’s quite cold weather for a skirt.
- Those aren’t very nice legs.
- Is that a man?
- It is a man!
- Is he wearing that for a dare?
- He doesn’t look at all self-concious so this can’t be odd.
- Those shoes are very smart.
- He must be about 60.
- That’s a very orange jumper he’s wearing and he’s quite overweight.
- Is that the top of a dress poking out the top of that jumper?
- Is that a skirt or a dress?
- Am I really wondering this?
- Is he a transvestite?
- Is he a woman?
- Is it a kilt?
- It must be a kilt.
- No, it’s not a kilt.
- I want to laugh.
- Why do I want to laugh? This is perfectly acceptable, if somewhat unusual.
- Maybe it’s a fashion statement. Maybe he finds skirts more comfortable and has been wearing them for years; that would explain why he doesn’t look self-conscious.
- I wouldn’t want someone to laugh at me if I wore a skirt, or anything else for that matter. Except a banana suit. I’d be worried if they didn’t laugh at me in a banana suit. It would imply I *always* look that silly….
- I bet his legs get cold.
- He *does* look funny.
For some reason, at no point did it occur to me to ask him what he was wearing and why. British reserve strikes again.